Let Me Sleep Already!

So, its 4 30 in the morning aaaaand I can't sleep. The past week or so has been like this. No sleep, or at least up really late. My brain doesn't want to shut off and its really hard to fall asleep and super irritating, especially since I know my mom will yell at me in the morning for sleeping in. =P Its really difficult because all I do is relive memories and my brain sits there and things of every possible option of things I could've done differently to have some sort of other outcome. I obsess over it. And its no fun. I just end up hating myself and crying usually. I hate the way my brain thinks sometimes. I need a way of "reprogramming" it... if only I could find the way to do that.
I've been really sick this past week. My depression has really taken a toll on my body.
A) Not sleeping
B) Not having the want or will to eat... at all (this one is slowly getting better)
C) A constant want to sit and do absolutely nothing.
I haven't been this way in a long time, but I feel like I've made some improvements within the last few days.
On Sunday I had a complete melt down. I didn't want to do anything. My spirit felt like it was dead. I just sat there and bawled for hours and was so exhausted from not only the emotional stress that has been happening but also the physical stress due to the RID Conference and a bachlorette sleep over from the night before. I was running myself thin. Really stretching myself.
I did make myself go to church though. I remembered a story that my parents had told me about Bishop Arnold and when his son committed suicide. They told me that he was crying uncontrollably and had to have people practically carry him into sacrament meeting, but he came because he knew that he needed to be there and it was the place where he could be closest to the Lord for strength and comfort at that time.
I thought about this and although my struggle is nothing compared to his at that time, I knew I had to go to church. I could only make it through sacrament meeting before feeling like I was going to throw up or pass out but I went. And I hope the Lord sees my effort to really reach out for him.
After coming home from church completely in ruins and so exhausted my mom really stepped up to the plate. She had a good talk with me helping me contemplate on things and sharing with me the things that she has been praying for as well. She really took advantage of this opportunity to take care of me. Checking in on me. Discussing her thoughts and her support with me. Helping me carry on. She even took work off on Monday to make sure to stay with me and do all of the things that I wasn't capable of doing that day. I don't believe I would be doing as well as I am if it hadn't been for her being here at home. Its been a huge blessing to have her here with me at this time, especially when I feel so helpless.
Ultimately I'm making baby steps to getting back on my feet. School helps a lot as well, signing is such a great release for me, especially since in the fast track program there is no homework! =D. I can only hope that I can continue on in this process. I have my set back days, but I also have my improvement days. We'll be seeing how it turns out I guess.